A GLANCE INTO THE NEAR LOL-TURE (part 2)
Ok.
So… like, what. 3 years ago? The whole LOLcat thing started. Don’t pretend you didn’t think it was heeeee-larious when it came out. it fit all the criteria for internet-wonder - silly picture, absurdist caption — absolutely no meaning or message or profundity whatsoever.
So we won that one, inter-fans. We had LOLcats. And they were amusing. ‘Monorail cat’ made us belive in sustainable transportation solutions, where ‘I ate your cookie cat’ made us all feel just a bit warmer inside. These were good times.
But then, we, the society of smarmy shitheads, dropped the ball. And with a devestating recovery, the LOLcat genre was taken away by the realm of the lonely cat woman! Suddenly, the LOLs weren’t ‘lulz’ at all, the were… cutes. Glurge. Postings of homespun nonsense spewing from the Sahara-est of vaginas. Sure, one could blame it on the fact that internet pidgin is one half-step detuned from ‘Cutesy-mom-speek’ but the coup was smoother and more deadly than a sharp knife slitting el presidente’s (of the internet, of course) throat.
So, now, we are in the nether times. LOLcats have been abandoned, considered an utter loss by our top e-officers. Yet, in the future, a ray of hope emerges…..
Part 2. (Mean)OL Cats.
In a devestating blow to all known bullshit, the adorable cat turns against its owner, spewing anger and hatred to the very cat lover that dotes upon it. Snuggie-donned women everywhere weep silently as their adorable and only companions spew the kind of bile their ex-husband would - the world has officially completely destroyed them.
Let’s look at more!
Here, the cat has been used to ruin the other big old lady thing: Christmas. This makes the juxtaposition with solitary death in a dusty living room all the more unbearable. Point of fact: the future will be much more devastating than perhaps I even realize.
Simple. To the point. I apologize to all my aunts.
